The Everell Rules
Ninety-six situations. The words to say when words are needed. The reasons behind the rules. A practical book for the dinner, the introduction, and the moment your mind goes blank.
A digital PDF, delivered by email after successful payment. One-time purchase. Thirty days to see whether it’s useful.
Dear reader,
Perhaps it’s her parents on Saturday. A dinner with the partners. A wedding invitation with a dress code you had to look up.
Or perhaps it’s that quiet suspicion that everyone else was given a set of instructions you somehow missed.
Nobody is born knowing these things. Somebody explained them, or somebody didn’t. There is no moral achievement in having been told which fork to use at the age of nine.
So here are the instructions.
The Everell Rules takes 96 ordinary, awkward and occasionally rather grand situations and explains what to do. Where words are needed, it gives you the words. And it tells you why the rule exists, so you can use your judgement when the evening refuses to follow the script.
You can read it through, a chapter at a time. Or find the occasion coming up and go straight to the relevant pages. There is even a “Tonight, in Ten Minutes” section for the person already looking for their jacket.
The object is quite simple: to put you, and the people around you, at ease.
I hope it earns its place beside the door.
Each rule starts with the moment, explains what to do, and gives you the words when words would help.
They know yours. You have no idea of theirs. Own it lightly:
“I’m so sorry, I’ve gone completely blank on your name, and I’ve no excuse. Remind me?”
Five honest seconds are easier than an hour of pretending.
From rule 24 — The Forgotten Name Rule
Your mind has gone blank. Begin with the people who brought you together:
“How do you know Tom and Clare?”
Now they have a story to tell. Use your own hosts’ names, of course.
From rule 58 — The Best-Opener Rule
Stop nodding and ask:
“I don’t know it at all. Tell me about it.”
You don’t have to pretend to be interested when you can simply be interested.
From rule 63 — The I-Don’t-Know Rule
A word, a fork, the way you’ve held your glass. Thank them once, lightly:
“Thank you. I’ll remember that.”
Then carry on. Dinner needn’t become a debate over the fish course.
From rule 70 — The Public-Correction Rule
The complete book brings 96 situations together across eight chapters. Find the part of life in front of you.
Go straight to the rules for meeting the parents, a business dinner, black tie, strangers, or a mistake you’ve just made.
A clear pattern: the moment, the action, words where they’re needed, and the reason behind the rule. So you can use your judgement when the situation changes.
“Tonight, in Ten Minutes”, twelve conversation openers, a thank-you note template and a moments log. There is also a dedication page for a name, an occasion and a few words from the giver.
Every rule has a purpose: spare someone embarrassment, show you were paying attention, or help you know what to do next.
A first proper job. Meeting the family. A wedding season full of unfamiliar invitations. The book includes a dedication page for the person giving it. It is written for men, and the courtesy in it is useful far more widely.
This is a digital PDF, not a shipped book.
What a Gentleman Says and Does
When He’s Being Judged
$27 USD
One-time purchase. No subscription.
Get The Everell Rules for $27If The Everell Rules isn’t for you, email [email protected] within 30 days of purchase for a refund.
Something else on your mind?
[email protected]
It’s a digital PDF. Your download link is delivered by email after successful payment. No physical book is posted.
It’s written for men. Anyone is welcome to read it, and it also makes a thoughtful gift. The point is to make other people comfortable; nobody needs a particular background to do that.
Yes. The book is written in Julian’s English voice for use beyond England. Where British and American customs differ, the book explains the distinction.
No. Use “Find your moment” to choose the relevant rules, or start with “Tonight, in Ten Minutes” at the back.
You have a 30-day money-back guarantee. Email [email protected] within 30 days of purchase to request a refund.
No. The Everell Rules is the complete book. The optional $9 Pocket Rules provides 40 printable cards, and the optional $37 30-Day Gentleman is a daily practice workbook. Choose them only if that way of using the rules suits you.